Meaning of Christmas
by ChekhovTheTroper
Summary: In order to properly dissect the meaning of Christmas, we sat the main characters of Victorious down in order to seek out the meaning of Christmas. Awkwardness ensues.


**DISCLAIMER: ****_Victorious _****is too imperfect for me to possess it, but too perfect for me to want to possess it.**

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_WHAT IS THE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS?_

**Tori Vega: **I think Christmas is all about being with family. It's about interacting with people that you care about. Even though you feel like your alone, all the grandiose advertising Christmas receives is more of a tactic in order to bring everyone together. Sure, people think it's all about presents and decorations and pageants, but really, it's about being with people who care about you…do you know where I can find them?

**Trina Vega: **Christmas is about God. I mean, we wouldn't be celebrating it without God. Duh! I mean, if Jesus didn't die in a tree, we wouldn't be able to shop without shame…yeah, he _did _die in a tree. He fell out and was laughed at. He cried himself to death. Right? Well, screw you, it's legit to me.

**André Harris: **Christmastime is about thanking the Lord Jesus for dying for your sins. I know I don't sound like a religious guy, and I'm honestly not, but I know that the Big Man died for the Bigger Man, but I do want to pay respect to him. Most of my friends don't mention it, even when they're Christian, because there are a lot of bigots who yell at you for eating rosaries and speaking in Latin tongues. Jesus love everybody, and I at least like most people. I wish I could say more, but I need to leave now. My grandma is still learning how to talk in a phone without fearing that spies are recording her. Also, don't tell her I told you about Jesus; she's afraid of God because she thinks He's trying to strike her with lightning.

**Cat Valentine: **Christmas is about snow and presents! It's also about being happy! If you aren't happy, you're visited by a rude old man who you ate for supper. If you make him mad, you'll meet three ghosts. One is a baby; one is Santa Clause, and the other is the Grim Reaper. What? Yes, it's a true story! My brother told me that story since I was little. Why tell a story if it isn't true?

**Jade West: **Christmas is about lying and stealing. It's also about tricking kids into interacting with pedophiles in public just to get a damn firetruck. Can I go now?

**Sinjin Van Cleef: **I don't leave out cookies and milk for Santa. I leave out kielbasa and bell peppers instead. I used to leave out a glass of wine too, but the last time I did, I woke up and saw my father passed out on the floor.

**Robbie Shapiro: **I honestly don't celebrate Christmas. The best gift I got for Christmas was Rex. He's my friend, and I can't replace him. I can't replace my real-life friends, either. I'm just so grateful for everything, so why ask for more?

**Rex: **Same here, 'cept I don't cite my Galaxy Wars mags as something that's worth being thankful for.

**Robbie Shapiro: **Hey, Issue Forty-Three is one of the rarest—

**Rex: **Forty-Three. _Movie 43_.

**Robbie Shapiro: **Did you _really _have to bring that movie up?

**Rex: **Haha, I just schooled your nerdy ass.

**Beck Oliver: **I don't really believe in Christmas. To me, I just see it as an excuse for girlfriends to bitch about how their beaus didn't get them anything, or whatever they got wasn't enough. I don't risk that with Jade. She bitches about me for everything else, so I don't want to start anything else. Well, I do understand the tradition. People want to be thankful for each other; but why celebrate with mythos and fiction? I'd rather celebrate with realism instead of magic. Being real has enough magic, because people rarely are real. Sure, Jade and I can't stand each other sometimes, but she's real. So, I'm thankful for that.

**Jade West: **"I don't believe in magic." You used to wear a goddam Santa hat to bed every night as a kid.

**Beck Oliver: **Says the girl who wanted to be Ursula for Christmas at age five.

**Jade West: **Fuck you.

**Beck Oliver: **I love you, too.

**Erwin Sikowitz: **…lambskin. That's all Christmas is about. Lambskin.

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**A/N: As short and simple as this looks, this was actually pretty tough to write considering I had to remember how these characters act. Either way, Merry Christmas to all and to all hearty lambskin. XD**

**-Peace from the gun-troper**


End file.
